随想

有时候看到美好的事物会对它产生好感,又或许想占为己有。但是因为不曾拥有过所以也不懂得表达对此物的情感。最后在你真的无法拥有的时候,你同时上了宝贵的一课:有时放手也是你“拥有”对此物的最佳情感,因为你脑海里所联想到的美好在还没被破坏之前才永远属于你。
 
”你觉得我单纯,那是因为你单纯。你觉得我善良,那是因为你善良。你觉得我有趣,那是因为你有趣。你觉得我天真,那是因为你天真。你单纯善良天真有趣,我怎么可能允许自己错过你。你拥有什么,才能看见什么。“ -刘同 
 
谢谢你刘同,让我的伪文青又犯了。。

expression.

DSC_7513

photo that gives a peaceful feeling,
i believe that i took this in Pasir Ris Park, Singapore 🙂

Nobody is more special than any one else, simply because we are all special/different in our own way. but being inherently different does not make us any similar too?

i’ve come to realised that thinking takes up energy, and sometimes it’s easy to get lost in one’s own thoughts and get drunk on oneself (placing too much emphasis on yourself). that doesn’t mean we cease to think, but whatever we do there is a degree of control by ourselves.

i used to think that i learn from reading and understanding everything i’m exposed to in my own way, by internalizing those lessons. they are not wrong, but recently i’ve come to realise that you can also learn by emulating others too. people whom you think can be a role model and people whose traits that you so desire for yourself. it is not being a copycat, but it is simply learning and making yourself better. that is how i see it..

finally, i would like to say that i want to approach things without any expectations from others and in return there will be a mutual agreement on having no expectations of me either. the above is hard to achieve, but i do want to achieve that state of mind to a certain degree, so that i can place less stress on myself too.

i guess it’s similar to giving/receiving criticism. recently read an interview article and the interviewee said, “I don’t think it is very motivating to make someone listen when it makes the person feel bad and even angry and resentful.” how true.
it’s always good to have a third opinion, but it is also good to realize that some day all these negativity will also become a thing of the past.

ending off, it is good if we consider how best do we want to live right now, right at this moment. what can i do to maximize the best of me, and in doing so we are simply living. it is just living according to a belief i have inside me.

PS: perhaps when i look back i will cease to agree or appreciate what i have written now, this too may be a thing of the past? if that is the case, here’s a reminder for my future self: at some point the above thoughts are what you believed in that allow you to live right for that moment.

(First) Day of School…

Today is the start of a new semester, a semester with quite a bit expected of me. but i haven’t started my lessons since tutorials don’t begin until W3..

nevertheless i went to school to settle some non-academic stuff and of course attempt to dig up stuff from IVLE + cleaning up my hostel room.. though i will not be staying in school for the whole week i will still spend at least two nights in sch and subsequently the second half of semester school is going to be where i work.. outcome to be productive i hope =)

so today met up with the ranger girls to submit forms for our film entry.. yea we are entering a short film competition and i really hope for the best.. even if we didn’t win, well at least we tried and we did well for the project. anyways seeing them again makes me happy, somehow, because we accomplished something great together!

btw this sem i am not doing any CH mod, and feels a little bit empty probably because i have been doing CH mods for the past three sems.. nevertheless i shall still look pass this and that i will have chance to do so in the future~ speaking of which i have no intention to lose touch with the Chinese language since i am going on exchange to China after this semester..

while we are at the “Chinese” talk, seeing a teacher’s words made me realised how judgmental i was in the past.. (my Sec 4 Chinese teacher)… i knew he’s  a nice teacher but i’ve always thought my teacher is just a joker.. but what he shared today made me believe that every teacher has something to offer, if a student pays enough attention..

anyways this was what he shared: “没有什么事是过不去的。各位小朋友,请记得你们所流下的汗水与泪水,终将成为浇灌你们人生大树的养分。你的人生态度,将决定你们未来是一个怎么样的大人。你们的人生才开始,好好努力,加油~~~!!”

really wise words from him and somehow it makes me feel a bit warm and fuzzy that i can still learn from him even though he don’t teach me anymore..

lastly, back to the film talk.. i’ve learnt a lot and though the workload is heavy i do not mind a single bit. “the happiness from last semester continues because i did what i enjoy, such a blessing is hard to come by.” i can only pray/hope/look forward for these moments in the future!

first lecture starts on Wed and there is also my first physical geog mod in nus.. well i shall not see it as a necessary evil but try to make the best of it!

All the best for school and may it be a smooth year ahead =) JIA YOU!

Finding that child in…

I got to say this week has been really nice, and i am thankful for it.. caught my third movie for the week and it’s Rise of the Guardians.

i was actually skeptical about it, and since many people around me has watched it, i really want to find out for myself if it is really that good. and true enough i really like it.. initially i found it boring, but as they say you have to wait for good things..

the story has a really nice and happy ending which i like ^^  hopes, dreams, believe, fun.

yea the guardians of these things in our lives, believe in the ester bunny, tooth fairy, santa claus, jack frost~

actually… i felt guilty when  i have forgotten about them and perhaps apathetic towards them. i thought the movie was boring and
“typical”, i could find myself agreeing with it.. but after watching it i could appreciate the movie’s intention =) as long as we believe in them, it doesn’t matter if they are real or fake. fear is nothing if we allow ourselves not to be scared by it.

perhaps these values have always been inside, just need to take that effort to find them again~

i would say the movie made me think… maybe this is why we always say being young is good; because inside us we have acknowledge that we cherish that innocence we had when we were younger. we acknowledge how we used to have room for imagination only to unknowingly lose them to reality when we don’t make an effort to keep it…

that child inside me, that child inside you, that child inside us.

A Christmas Post ^^

Merry Christmas ^^ spending Christmas at home and doing nothing in particular.. i really like the feeling of such a “peaceful” day and of course it gets better when i get to listen to music that i like~ and once again it’s I Will by The Beatles ❤

speaking of which, managed to catch Les Miserables movie version on Christmas Eve.. was suppose to go alone, but since i informed my family members so i might as well asked them too.. well we didn’t sit together cos there wasn’t really nice seats for three people sitting together and sitting alone, it somehow made it feel like watching a movie alone again?

nevertheless the main point is we ushered in Christmas 2012 in a movie theatre and watching a really nice movie! of course there are flaws in it like the less than perfect singing and all, but i really like the story and plot. personally although the story might be set in a miserable world and all; somehow there are meaningful take away from the movie. so i guess it makes it good, and Anne Hathaway in particular is really outstanding despite her segment being quite brief~

that aside, i managed to catch up with watching movie.. cos i watched Jack Reacher over the week too.. some parts are really smart but it’s like a typical action movie with little surprises.. not going to bore with my amateur “critique” of movies..

anyways i have been reading =) thankfully for this and i think i will cherish this period a lot.. and got another realization or rather reflection.

questioning myself: is it really that great to be outstanding?

i mean i read stories and also have encounter with people around me.. sometimes people who are really brilliant, i mean really outstanding in their capabilities and all, they can be really critical too. benefit of doubt goes to them for thinking ahead of others and simple being better than others, but it makes them too critical about people and at some point imposing themselves on others (unknowingly).. in subtlety attitude and appearance inevitably gets more aggressive? it’s just my observation..

maybe one will still look good but somehow that aggressive sense is also present.. in Chinese there is a saying:相由心生. it meant how your appearance is reflective of your heart (for mediocre translation inner beauty or ugliness is being reflected?)

i think we can get drunk on ourselves, being too self-absorbed and all.. but it takes conscious effort to ensure that we are not changing for the worse and it takes effort to make yourself look better (figuratively) so perhaps it is great to be outstanding, but not to the point of being overly critical and if i may say, arrogant?

sounds like a preachy post, but i have no intention for it to be so.. sometimes it’s just the things that i think about and i like to note them down~ away from this heavy tone, another side could be if we’re more forgiving it would make all the difference. it’s okay to forgive and not forget, forgetting would make it all seem insignificant and loses what you believe in? that’s what i think at least… no need to be saint just be humane.

ps: be crazy as though you’ve not lose that passion and enjoy whatever we do~ results will be out tomorrow, somehow i am calm =)

2012 Last Quarter’s Reflection

I have been wanting to write, be it in my personal diary or even on this online platform that allows me to think fast and type.. (i meant that  my thoughts flow freely whenever i am in a state of constant writing) and a random note, sometimes when i read beautiful stories, i have the urge to write my own story too. this post is going to be long, and i know one day when i look back at it, i might smile to myself for whatever reason/reflection i have at that point in the future.

maybe i do not have that courage yet, to get started. and as i am granted a little more time these days to think and exercise introspection, i have to admit my lack of courage despite always presenting myself as confident.. and anyways i have come to acknowledge and affirm the important things in my life. family, people i’ve met and my surrounding environment.

i read an interview by this famous person (perhaps by now i can claim myself to be a stalker/fan of sorts of celebrities/well known individuals) and reading interviews by others opens up a new world which i may learnt from or even derive reflection from. okay.. so this person said that looking back at her whole 29 years of life, the only people who are constantly in her life are her family members. and for that she finds them important, of course coupled with the fact that they have given her unconditional love and support. having grow up quite a bit this year, i could find the same thing on myself; where family is always there to render support or simply just the notion of being there without fail.

on the the people i’ve met; of course we meet many people throughout our life and will continue to do so, because it is impossible to be in total isolation even if you enjoy solitude.. they say no man is an island right? personally i can be judgmental or sometimes skeptical about people/things around me. sometimes i am quick to form an impression then it will dispel after how the person behaves (good/bad)..

my point is because i form these impression i would develop thoughts about my own conduct, the person’s conduct and also how i see things. in that sense i feel that people around me is important, i can ignore them but inevitably they shape my perception on things and even provide me with inspiration or even serve as my mentors. i won’t touch on my surroundings, but doing Geography has allowed me to be more appreciative of my surrounding environment more, and of course along with the people i’ve met they are not mutually exclusive, i mean  they complement 😉

and recently i read a book titled “Nothing to Envy” by Barabara Demick; it’s a story written through interviewing defectors from North Korea.. while i question the 100% credibility i have come to appreciate reading things beyond the nice, happy endings, and it somehow made me reflect too~

some thoughts i’ve formed after reading the book, the human spirit is remarkable. true that we might have created invention that harm the Earth or that we are complicated beings, something i find comforting from reading the book is how the North Koreans depicted in the story are strong.

they might have been deceived, they might be starving, but most of them never say no to survival.  even for those who eventually die, not once did they do things that worsen their predicament. they have acted certain way (bow down to their regime?) simply to ensure their own survival. even if it meant convincing themselves that what they have is good, i see it as the need to carry on living and maintaining an unbroken spirit under that dampening atmosphere. they sought for ways to alleviate their situation even if the result does not make much difference, but it is simply a matter of “better than”.. of course i can only imagine how things truly are given the circumstances but the way they act, they have demonstrate a survival instinct~

a thought came to me last night, actually it’s more like affirming my belief:
appearance may change for the better or for the worse, but what is inside us remains and radiates from within. may we never change for the worse.

christmas is two days away, and i guess i am happy to have written a post even if it’s not that much a reflection. happy holidays to anyone reading and maybe the new year be a smooth and happy one =)

习以为常

开始之前我要说:我们一家相信的是佛教,此文并不是要发扬任何宗教

今天我说了:“我希望一切都能够顺利。”

妈妈回复:“如果你平时都有存善心,冥冥中你也会被保佑的。因为是因果关系。”(also meant karma)

我就问:“如果一个人做了善事或者帮助别人,可是他心存的想法是:这么做我就能够有好报。那么他到底行善了没?”

妈妈的回答其实很简单,即使你内心有那种想法自然地福报会减少。可是,我们行善不是为了要有什么好报而是要散发自内心的去行善。

妈妈接着分享了小时候的故事。。这让我不禁想起:

行善事要习以为常的。这样它就会成为一个根本的存好心、做好事;不为达到某种目的。 

ps: 现阶段的我还在学习当中。。