Relationships.

Different, many, close, distant, intimate, acquaintance and personal.

relationships exist in different forms, no matter what they are i’ve come to experience it more and more for myself that they are very personal.
perhaps it’s because i’m leaving for exchange soon, these ‘minute’ things and taken for granted connections i have with other people seem to become more and more obvious to me.. perhaps even taking on new meanings.

this is more of a reflection on my part and i guess i will touch on the different kinds i’ve personally experienced🙂

on friendship…
you know how sometimes you have friends that you don’t necessarily talk to them often, maybe i’m bad at maintaining relationships or i am not proactive enough.. anyways when you do want to catch up with them (even for just a short chat), these friends accept you and would be your listener and conversation partner regardless of how long ago you have ceased to keep in constant contact with them.

just as you have feelings of pessimism or optimism that you felt it but can’t spell it out, i think friends are people who allow you to feel like this, perhaps this is the human connection? emotion: just very very thankful and blessed to have friends like these, because i am not a good one, but i’m willing to be there for you if you ask me anytime.

on family…
i never thought i was a good family member. i was always the one that ‘disappear’ to attend my own ‘business’, or sometimes i’ll be stuck in my own thoughts and things i want to do that i become so absorbed to the extent of giving my family the cold shoulder.  and frankly speaking since i came back from FS i’ve only stayed fully at home for two days..

as the day draws near, i know i will be reluctant to leave.. perhaps i’m the kind that have knowledge that something/someone is there for me but i will not be proactive in engaging that thing/person until i’m actively conscious of it. my worst track record was not calling home while overseas and my parents had to call the hotel (evil child me :/)

but these days i’ve been hoping to catch up with my parents before leaving, i guess i’m taking a step forward and inviting them to catch a movie with me. maybe exchange will make me appreciate my family more and become a better and less self-absorbed member.

on <3…
wow not even sure how i would touch on this seeing my lack of experience?! but i guess the first is always memorable (good or bad), it teaches you something. i know my first taught me the need to have more communication and try harder, and when all’s the past i just feel sorry for not being the better person in a relationship.

most of the time i can’t help it that i don’t really express myself well or express enough, and if anything i want to thank my first experience for teaching me not to take things for granted.. even though it didn’t end very well..

on strangers…
contrary to my interaction with people supposedly closer and directly in my circle of connection, i oddly converse proactively with strangers (in particular older people). i wouldn’t mind chatting them up and just speaking to them, i feel even more so after FS when Dr Carl mentioned that nobody is definitely random or a stranger..

but as i write this post, i realised that most exchanges with outsiders are superficial and have little impact on my life (except when i learn about their outlook and chew on it…). personally i think intimate exchanges with people closer to you are important but also the hardest to be at ease with.

ending off, despite all the reflection/introspection (i hope)… i guess i am still a passionate person, such that if i love you i’ll love even your stinky socks..or as Chinese saying goes 情人眼里出西施; and i speak for the different relationship connections i have with various people.

for now i’ll be around to make the most of my time with my family before forgetting about them when i’m on exchange which i hope i’ll not be doing~

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