a lasting one.

visited my nyps mentor today, and had a short but nice chat.. even up till today, i feel like i’ve learnt a lot from them and gain so much that i hope our acquaintance will be a lasting one 🙂

i don’t know if anyone can ever feel this way, but i think i really cherish such feelings.. perhaps it is like this that i always approach things and people such that i want to learn something from them.. that said i am repeating myself, but…

my life occupation will be a student.

 

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expression.

DSC_7513

photo that gives a peaceful feeling,
i believe that i took this in Pasir Ris Park, Singapore 🙂

Nobody is more special than any one else, simply because we are all special/different in our own way. but being inherently different does not make us any similar too?

i’ve come to realised that thinking takes up energy, and sometimes it’s easy to get lost in one’s own thoughts and get drunk on oneself (placing too much emphasis on yourself). that doesn’t mean we cease to think, but whatever we do there is a degree of control by ourselves.

i used to think that i learn from reading and understanding everything i’m exposed to in my own way, by internalizing those lessons. they are not wrong, but recently i’ve come to realise that you can also learn by emulating others too. people whom you think can be a role model and people whose traits that you so desire for yourself. it is not being a copycat, but it is simply learning and making yourself better. that is how i see it..

finally, i would like to say that i want to approach things without any expectations from others and in return there will be a mutual agreement on having no expectations of me either. the above is hard to achieve, but i do want to achieve that state of mind to a certain degree, so that i can place less stress on myself too.

i guess it’s similar to giving/receiving criticism. recently read an interview article and the interviewee said, “I don’t think it is very motivating to make someone listen when it makes the person feel bad and even angry and resentful.” how true.
it’s always good to have a third opinion, but it is also good to realize that some day all these negativity will also become a thing of the past.

ending off, it is good if we consider how best do we want to live right now, right at this moment. what can i do to maximize the best of me, and in doing so we are simply living. it is just living according to a belief i have inside me.

PS: perhaps when i look back i will cease to agree or appreciate what i have written now, this too may be a thing of the past? if that is the case, here’s a reminder for my future self: at some point the above thoughts are what you believed in that allow you to live right for that moment.

Meet up + my humble opinion..

It’s so rare for me to blog at this timing but i figured i want to put it down before i forget about the thoughts and details which are still fresh in my mind right now..

it was a good day meeting up with my friend Grace. we first met during my time in fandom, i am pleasantly surprise and glad that she is a friend with whom i can still keep in touch with without the sole common interest on one idol.. we briefly discussed about this too..

i guess it’s another good thing i got out of my fandom experience, but also something that baffles me sometimes.. am i connected to most people i know in fandom only through that one idol that we all come to like? but anyways it’ll be deviating from my post..

anyways Grace just returned to Singapore upon completing her music degree in US.. she is one special friend and im glad that i could know her and still keep in touch with her because sometimes she forces me to think about life. it may sound fake and all, but yeap we often delve into the deeper discussions and of course still managed to find some funny topics in our conversations.. but i kind of like certain level of intimate discussions from time to time.

out of the many interesting things that we talked about today was the topic on foreigners. you see because we went to Millenia Walk for lunch (Medz by the way..) then we walked all the way from there to Marina Square via the underpass.

what got us into the topic was that the service staff in Medz are all foreigners (that is none of them is local).. then on the way to Marina Square she made an observation that majority of the shops had foreign service staff. she asked me about it and for a moment i was stunned.. personally i’m used to it already assuming maybe it’s cheaper to hire foreigners or maybe for some reason locals don’t take up jobs in service sector for reasons unknown to me.

then we walked past this group of white collared people who again made up of foreigners. she then add: “Maybe the unhappiness i sensed has some truth in it.” and you know what she has only been back for two weeks.. but yeap, i guess i made a point here.

over coffee/chat we talked about racism and prejudice etc. then i shared my observation which i seldom make public but often share with close friends. it has something to do with chinese nationals. since i have a couple of China-Chinese friends myself, i can’t help but observe that the situation like any is not one-dimensional.

my friends who are still living in China they are not as ungracious as some whom we encounter; they are respectful towards others and have less of self-entitlement attitude. they are even welcoming to foreign friends!

i shared with Grace that it has something to do with affluence and maybe just that sense of superiority for Chinese who left China for other countries. they are usually more affluent, or maybe they qualified for certain tests and achieved good enough results to have a chance at studies/work abroad. which i guess to a certain extent made them ‘better off’ than chinese who are still in China? that ‘cream of the crop’ sense could fuel some self-entitled attitude and so explains some problems with willingness to adjust and assimilate, that said this is a minority that has been magnified.. because 好事不出门,坏事传千里

and so it’s really not majority of the Chinese nationals with bad attitude, i know of friends who are gracious, and are accustomed to Singaporean ways like my friend Yuan. personally i think it’s a matter of a few black sheep who created this bad situation and impression. and although the affluent and self-entitlement observation is not true for all, there is still some truth in this.

my opinion on all the bad attitude and stuff? i only experienced once (3rd party encounter) where this person scolded a service staff for being stupid (she said something like Singaporeans are inflexible and therefore stupid)… at that time i felt indignant, who gave her the right to label people like this and if so why did she come to this ‘stupid’ country in the first place? in any case i choose to think that it’s her own problem wanting things to only go her way and by her action she is being uncouth and ungracious towards a service staff with no authority to decide/change the service rules. therefore no point stooping to her level and argue, no matter how well-educated she is at that point her attitude is low level..

fortunately i haven’t directly encounter any towards myself, and i will only comment when i’ve experienced it. for most time, i’ve learnt from my classes in school that ethnic clashes and cultural clashes are inevitable and part of every cosmopolitan city.. we can only adjust to it or a sure way is to not magnify these issues.

that said it’s difficult adjusting to differences and problems etc. and i guess i will end with a QOTD which popped up over coffee with Grace.. “Life is like black coffee”, bitter but necessary and sometimes we get a bit of sweetness amidst the bitterness. with part truth and part sarcasm 😉

随想。。

很多时候我们认为最亲的人可能没想象的亲,认为最诚实的人也可能没有对我们坦白,这是别人的选择。我们可为此感到不愉快,但唯有承认这是事实 才能看得更开,并潇洒地继续前进。

最后,总结了自己最渴望的是能够与世无争。

 

IMM is not all that wrong..

I remember reading an article about how millennials (people born between 1980s to 2000 are called) are very IMM in nature. IMM = I, Me, Myself.

I guess it isn’t totally wrong, but my personal interpretation is not that we are becoming more selfish compared to other generation, it may not even be all that negative. IMM has something to do with how we are being influenced? Since young we almost have access to any kind of information at the touch of our finger tips (internet!!!), it’s a double edge sword. While we are deemed to be more independent in learning and more well informed than previous generations, we are also faced with more uncertainty. There is a saying that goes: the more one knows and gain access to information, the more we are aware of our own inadequacies.

and perhaps it is this ‘knowing’ that makes us more empowered to change or even more vulnerable, therefore the urge to first and foremost protect ourselves.. which inevitably making us more self-centred?

Disclaimer: I don’t have a definite answer and maybe this post serves as a purpose or even an excuse for my personal laziness before i continue.. 

Most of the time I would want to be a thinker, a do-er, but not having to worry. Sometimes worrying comes not only from knowing too much, worrying may come in the form of  facing uncertainties, things you can’t control and even fatigue.

Maybe these days, that one day, that one moment, you may feel too tired to do anything. You may take a look at your plate and decide that: “At this moment, I have a lot to deal with and I simply don’t want to do anything or even think about it.”

Yet this thought is a vicious cycle, the more you stop at doing, the more you worry because something is there but you are not propelling yourself to take enough action. How then does one break away from it all? I guess it is alright to feel fatigue, tired and even scared.. it is even okay to become self-centred and IMM in such lethargic moments, it is okay to stop doing for awhile..

It works both ways, give yourself a chance to admit your vulnerability, give others a chance to be vulnerable for being tired (who hasn’t face such situations?). Take a step back, not do anything and work towards where you can start from zero – a fresh state of being/mind.

To end off, it is okay to be IMM, as long as you resolute to find yourself afterwards. After all “lethargic days will pass and I will be alright after some rest”

PS: It is more important to restart than carry on tired and reducing your potential. and maybe at this moment i am being IMM to things I have to do.