At peace.

“how can you move on from someone who has been around you your whole life, even when you’re ready to let go.”

this thought came to my mind and suddenly i realized that letting go and moving on does not necessarily come as a pair, one can let go but one might not move on.. nevertheless i guess i am at peace now, i know it will take some time before getting used to it; an emptier house/room, no longer have someone to chat or bicker (yes we do bicker at times) with..

i guess it didn’t occur to me that she will pass, even though i’ve seen how she has weakened due to old age i know it is a matter of getting used to something and someone; and accepting it when that familiarity is no longer there. but if there’s anything that i could have gotten from this i guess it will be to be more tolerant and cherish what we have when we have the chance.

i was not as tolerant towards her when i was a child, sometimes impatient. but i am glad that as i mature i was able to find some comfort in her presence, this presence may not have constant communication but it is just a presence that i am grateful for even till now when i look back.

i wrote this post thinking i have so much to say, but when i truly get down to it i don’t know what to pen down.. it is true that some things cannot be expressed with mere words and i guess this is the moment now.

致:

对不起 年幼的我太猖狂,
谢谢您 让我学会了忍让。

您正是家中之宝,因此我知道自己幸福。

解脱、喜丧、放手,
这些字都会在我的耳边转,

每个人都会到自己的尽头,也因为这样我理性地坦然接受。
请不要挂心,因为我们已经懂事;
一路的陪伴愿您走得安详。

因为这样我学会了 放下,
因为这样我学会了 珍惜
因为这样我更应该 铭记。

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