It just occurred to me! And actually it’s a hunch that my thinking will only straighten out after 27Mar.. I’ve been working on this since forever, okay since I was 7+.. Recently I’m just thinking only about this exam.
It started out really like a wonderful endeavour, then midway somehow it became a nightmare a forced thing… it finally dawned on me that it will be a constant in my life, and only when I grew older did I realise that it mattered to me. I’m not a good piano player, I don’t think I am anyways but I like playing on it.. It’s like what a friend said, a luxury.
Yes a luxury that allows me to get away from hectic mess and the mundane work, it’s another form of thinking work but it’s enjoyable. Since my journey has been a very long one, with a couple of pauses in between I think this final exam is something that will matter to me a lot.. Or at least of importance. It will definitely put a wonderful end to the ‘official’ part of the journey though I know overall I will continue with it. And with hope of a wonderful end, I hope for a decent outcome too 🙂
I heard this sentence somewhere which I am gradually using it to guide myself… “Always ask ourself if it will matter to you one year on, if it doesn’t don’t be too uptight about it.” For now I know piano will still matter to me so I guess I can be uptight about it 🙂