2012年的最后感触

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always thankful for the sky! 你们心中那一点沮丧 或压力 都抛向蓝天吧!

致:自己

其实也只不过是淡淡的反思以及得到的感触。

2012年不算坏其实它似乎是好的。。虽然感觉上自己经历了之前没有经历的 “波折”,有时感觉厌倦了,有时还会问为什么折磨自己。但是如果人生是一帆风顺的那么我们还算是体验了生活吗?

逆境 让我成长、“波折” 使我看清,看清自己也看清他人。至少现在的我比以前的我更了解自己执着的是什么;让我更确定什么是自己人生中重要的,什么只是点缀品。即使今年看的书不多,但是就像人与人之间的关系一样或者应该就是处事道理一样:重精不重多。所以现在我会更珍惜看的书以及相处的人。

最后反思: “人都是迟钝的吗?沉默时所发生的事如果不大声喧嚷就注定只会隐形般存在。相反地如果积极对外显露那么才更容易的带别人的认同。”

或者我应该说,人并不迟钝。我们只是过度地专注于自己,所以无心去体验别人的成果;毕竟不是自己的为什么要费心思呢?但是如果别人积极地显露他们的才华,我们的目光就会开始转到那个人的身上。虽然有时候,沉默是金,有时候不突出的反而更加会带来惊喜。
有时放开自私得到的更多。

新的一年该有新的决议,不想自己办不到所以决议变得更简单了

i) 享受做的每一件事
ii) 以自己的方式做到最好,只求尽心努力
iii) 视学习为工作,不要再被诱惑或者偷懒了
iv) 每天都寻找一件能让我开怀大笑、感恩的事
v) 多写日记

New Year’s Resolution

i) Enjoy everything that I’m involved in
ii) Give my best, in my own way and unbounded by others
iii) To treat learning as if I’m working, not be distracted.
iv) Find one thing that I am thankful and happy for everyday
v) Fill up the pages of my journal, consistently.

ps: Stay healthy and happy =)

give the benefit of the doubt

Have you ever written something or said something, but with no attachment to it? your words are just patronizing tools, tools that seemed to be the politically correct thing to do.

yea, i have done something like this. and when i look back at those moments, i am not proud of myself.. that i guess is me exercising skepticism towards others, and even worse it might even be skepticism just because another person doesn’t share my belief. this is bad.

today i met with my teacher, one who has taught me since i was in primary school.. and till this day i still look up to her simply because of how she treats people. with respect and empathy, she is always kind and has not once flare up. i do not think her attitude is patronizing in fact i think her attitude is a positive and genuine one that ought to be learnt by many (including myself).

it then makes me reflect on myself and my own thoughts towards a certain incident recently. i may not have said it out clearly, but inside me i know that i am skeptical as much as i have acted in a way that appears to be gracious.

i don’t know how to put this across clearly, but my point is after seeing my teacher and talking to her.. i achieved an epiphany of sorts.

we can be skeptical, but at the end of the day while we want to indulge in our own thoughts and beliefs; we also have to acknowledge that others can do the same. for that i will try to give the benefit of the doubt to people whom i may disagree with, and tell myself that it is what they believe in.

keeping in mind that possibly, “what they believe in to them is as important as what i believe in is to me” (takes some time to digest this but i am also slowly putting it into practice)..

maybe by doing so, we are less troubled and can be kinder to people around us. acknowledging differences is the first step towards a better person. that said i’ll just mind my own goals and business, and make myself a “fuller” person…

ps: i will stop categorizing my blog posts with the category “thoughts” since it is pretty dumb that when i  express myself it’s definitely my thoughts.

Finding that child in…

I got to say this week has been really nice, and i am thankful for it.. caught my third movie for the week and it’s Rise of the Guardians.

i was actually skeptical about it, and since many people around me has watched it, i really want to find out for myself if it is really that good. and true enough i really like it.. initially i found it boring, but as they say you have to wait for good things..

the story has a really nice and happy ending which i like ^^  hopes, dreams, believe, fun.

yea the guardians of these things in our lives, believe in the ester bunny, tooth fairy, santa claus, jack frost~

actually… i felt guilty when  i have forgotten about them and perhaps apathetic towards them. i thought the movie was boring and
“typical”, i could find myself agreeing with it.. but after watching it i could appreciate the movie’s intention =) as long as we believe in them, it doesn’t matter if they are real or fake. fear is nothing if we allow ourselves not to be scared by it.

perhaps these values have always been inside, just need to take that effort to find them again~

i would say the movie made me think… maybe this is why we always say being young is good; because inside us we have acknowledge that we cherish that innocence we had when we were younger. we acknowledge how we used to have room for imagination only to unknowingly lose them to reality when we don’t make an effort to keep it…

that child inside me, that child inside you, that child inside us.

A Christmas Post ^^

Merry Christmas ^^ spending Christmas at home and doing nothing in particular.. i really like the feeling of such a “peaceful” day and of course it gets better when i get to listen to music that i like~ and once again it’s I Will by The Beatles ❤

speaking of which, managed to catch Les Miserables movie version on Christmas Eve.. was suppose to go alone, but since i informed my family members so i might as well asked them too.. well we didn’t sit together cos there wasn’t really nice seats for three people sitting together and sitting alone, it somehow made it feel like watching a movie alone again?

nevertheless the main point is we ushered in Christmas 2012 in a movie theatre and watching a really nice movie! of course there are flaws in it like the less than perfect singing and all, but i really like the story and plot. personally although the story might be set in a miserable world and all; somehow there are meaningful take away from the movie. so i guess it makes it good, and Anne Hathaway in particular is really outstanding despite her segment being quite brief~

that aside, i managed to catch up with watching movie.. cos i watched Jack Reacher over the week too.. some parts are really smart but it’s like a typical action movie with little surprises.. not going to bore with my amateur “critique” of movies..

anyways i have been reading =) thankfully for this and i think i will cherish this period a lot.. and got another realization or rather reflection.

questioning myself: is it really that great to be outstanding?

i mean i read stories and also have encounter with people around me.. sometimes people who are really brilliant, i mean really outstanding in their capabilities and all, they can be really critical too. benefit of doubt goes to them for thinking ahead of others and simple being better than others, but it makes them too critical about people and at some point imposing themselves on others (unknowingly).. in subtlety attitude and appearance inevitably gets more aggressive? it’s just my observation..

maybe one will still look good but somehow that aggressive sense is also present.. in Chinese there is a saying:相由心生. it meant how your appearance is reflective of your heart (for mediocre translation inner beauty or ugliness is being reflected?)

i think we can get drunk on ourselves, being too self-absorbed and all.. but it takes conscious effort to ensure that we are not changing for the worse and it takes effort to make yourself look better (figuratively) so perhaps it is great to be outstanding, but not to the point of being overly critical and if i may say, arrogant?

sounds like a preachy post, but i have no intention for it to be so.. sometimes it’s just the things that i think about and i like to note them down~ away from this heavy tone, another side could be if we’re more forgiving it would make all the difference. it’s okay to forgive and not forget, forgetting would make it all seem insignificant and loses what you believe in? that’s what i think at least… no need to be saint just be humane.

ps: be crazy as though you’ve not lose that passion and enjoy whatever we do~ results will be out tomorrow, somehow i am calm =)

2012 Last Quarter’s Reflection

I have been wanting to write, be it in my personal diary or even on this online platform that allows me to think fast and type.. (i meant that  my thoughts flow freely whenever i am in a state of constant writing) and a random note, sometimes when i read beautiful stories, i have the urge to write my own story too. this post is going to be long, and i know one day when i look back at it, i might smile to myself for whatever reason/reflection i have at that point in the future.

maybe i do not have that courage yet, to get started. and as i am granted a little more time these days to think and exercise introspection, i have to admit my lack of courage despite always presenting myself as confident.. and anyways i have come to acknowledge and affirm the important things in my life. family, people i’ve met and my surrounding environment.

i read an interview by this famous person (perhaps by now i can claim myself to be a stalker/fan of sorts of celebrities/well known individuals) and reading interviews by others opens up a new world which i may learnt from or even derive reflection from. okay.. so this person said that looking back at her whole 29 years of life, the only people who are constantly in her life are her family members. and for that she finds them important, of course coupled with the fact that they have given her unconditional love and support. having grow up quite a bit this year, i could find the same thing on myself; where family is always there to render support or simply just the notion of being there without fail.

on the the people i’ve met; of course we meet many people throughout our life and will continue to do so, because it is impossible to be in total isolation even if you enjoy solitude.. they say no man is an island right? personally i can be judgmental or sometimes skeptical about people/things around me. sometimes i am quick to form an impression then it will dispel after how the person behaves (good/bad)..

my point is because i form these impression i would develop thoughts about my own conduct, the person’s conduct and also how i see things. in that sense i feel that people around me is important, i can ignore them but inevitably they shape my perception on things and even provide me with inspiration or even serve as my mentors. i won’t touch on my surroundings, but doing Geography has allowed me to be more appreciative of my surrounding environment more, and of course along with the people i’ve met they are not mutually exclusive, i mean  they complement 😉

and recently i read a book titled “Nothing to Envy” by Barabara Demick; it’s a story written through interviewing defectors from North Korea.. while i question the 100% credibility i have come to appreciate reading things beyond the nice, happy endings, and it somehow made me reflect too~

some thoughts i’ve formed after reading the book, the human spirit is remarkable. true that we might have created invention that harm the Earth or that we are complicated beings, something i find comforting from reading the book is how the North Koreans depicted in the story are strong.

they might have been deceived, they might be starving, but most of them never say no to survival.  even for those who eventually die, not once did they do things that worsen their predicament. they have acted certain way (bow down to their regime?) simply to ensure their own survival. even if it meant convincing themselves that what they have is good, i see it as the need to carry on living and maintaining an unbroken spirit under that dampening atmosphere. they sought for ways to alleviate their situation even if the result does not make much difference, but it is simply a matter of “better than”.. of course i can only imagine how things truly are given the circumstances but the way they act, they have demonstrate a survival instinct~

a thought came to me last night, actually it’s more like affirming my belief:
appearance may change for the better or for the worse, but what is inside us remains and radiates from within. may we never change for the worse.

christmas is two days away, and i guess i am happy to have written a post even if it’s not that much a reflection. happy holidays to anyone reading and maybe the new year be a smooth and happy one =)

习以为常

开始之前我要说:我们一家相信的是佛教,此文并不是要发扬任何宗教

今天我说了:“我希望一切都能够顺利。”

妈妈回复:“如果你平时都有存善心,冥冥中你也会被保佑的。因为是因果关系。”(also meant karma)

我就问:“如果一个人做了善事或者帮助别人,可是他心存的想法是:这么做我就能够有好报。那么他到底行善了没?”

妈妈的回答其实很简单,即使你内心有那种想法自然地福报会减少。可是,我们行善不是为了要有什么好报而是要散发自内心的去行善。

妈妈接着分享了小时候的故事。。这让我不禁想起:

行善事要习以为常的。这样它就会成为一个根本的存好心、做好事;不为达到某种目的。 

ps: 现阶段的我还在学习当中。。

Blessings, Optimism and Bravery

EXAMS ARE OVER! yay! and as the title of this post suggests, i’m going to touch on things that i’m counting my blessings for, being optimistic and brave/courageous…

anyways exams this time round seemed okay, i shall not think about them anymore except for the fact that i did enjoy all my modules (thankful for wonderful project mates becoming good friends with them already! and this is definitely something i am counting my blessing for..)

maybe i should make a list of things i am blessed with/thankful for, since it’s the festive season:

1. Family, they are the definite constant in your life i feel. my rock support, and also providing for me so that i don’t have to worry about my basic needs and can focus on doing what i like

2. Friends, even hi-bye friends where just a simple greeting can lighten up your mood.. and of course friends who offer you advice and just willing to lend a listening ear even when you know whatever you say is unnecessary rants

3. Education, as much as i would say i might not be able to study everything that i like i am still blessed to have an education (relative to kids who are less privileged) and made it this far.. i hope i can continue doing good =)

4. Great Mentors. i read somewhere that one can learn a lot from others, and this is definitely a fact.. most people would say they learn from their friends or whoever.. personally i like interacting with people older than myself, and i kind of like interacting with adults. they are my great mentors in life, i remember Mrs Lee, Mrs Tan, Alex, Rachel and other colleagues from nyps whom I feel blessed to know. i hope i’ll always keep in touch with them ^^

another great mentor is my piano teacher, and although i am not the best student one could have cos i didn’t put in as much effort as i should for piano, she is ever so patient with me and letting me absorb and learn better at my own pace.. now i truly appreciate piano more and it has become a refuge of sort for me. even Murni, my k-pop friend hehe i really appreciate her for the perspective she brings to my life ❤

so yeap my list of counting my blessings is a bit short, but i guess it’s really the quality of things in your life that counts..

and what about optimism.. somehow i just feel that i get more emotional easily and less “tough” you may say.. i worry too much and this makes me feel really awful about myself, and the frustrating part is i don’t even know why i am becoming like this. i guess i shall tell myself or maybe superimpose positive thinking on myself, it’s better to try forcefully than wallow in self-pity~

and before i touch on the so called “bravery” i’ll share this

have you ever watched this movie? i really like it, it may not have any underlying meaning or profound association but it is a meaningful film..

i remember one of the lines was “you just need 20 seconds of insane courage”.

well i really find this helpful.. sometimes it’s human nature to want things to be perfect and without uncertainties, so we will check and check and check and think and think and think… you get my point, we worry.

but if we stick to 20 seconds of insane courage to get something done, i mean it’s probably less harsh on your mind and heart.

and maybe if we have the courage, be brave enough to list down all our worries and problems.. we might not find them to be problems after all, and that they somehow can be resolved. think about now, when you look back at your so-called worries from the past they don’t seem to be that negatively significant right?

i shall need to do mpe, prep hk trip and worry about modules after i come back from my holiday. i am but a human and there is only so much my mind can handle when it comes to worrying.

ps: i got an sep slot, it may not be confirmed and somehow i feel a bit insecure about mapping modules.. but i will just face whatever comes my way.

smile more =)