Self, found.

I don’t know if it’s true or not that we can always grow or mature, maybe become a better person through a really small incident/event etc. but i am willing to believe that it is so.

things that come as unexpected to you might shed new light on how you see things or even how you see yourself.

truth is, nobody likes to be forgotten and nobody likes to be insignificant (although most of the time no one is insignificant). of course when such things/encounters happen to you, the first instinct was still a blank i.e. you have not react to it. but very often revisiting an incident or conversation, you might think through things (think for the worst perhaps?)

i just want to say, it is absolutely fine to think negatively when you feel forgotten/insignificant.. but after that please put things in perspective for yourself. honestly, at the end of the day: ask yourself which is more important. 1) how do others see you or 2) how you are reflected as a person.

personally i prefer the second, not to sound noble or anything; but really working towards reflecting yourself as a better person is really sometime worth pursuing. and it might eventually lead to others seeing you in a better light?

yes, i may have appeared mediocre; but fact is that i have not been doing mediocre things and even if i have, fact is that if these mediocre things are not done, the big things might not be realised too. every small part has an effect, just like every small event allows you to learn and grow.

and so after some thinking, and deciding that i’ve been stupid to get caught in a web of “negative” thoughts (not so negative anymore) all i want to say is: When you focus on greater things, the petty aspects become unnecessary and insignificant.

if they do not work towards what you are seeking, if they do not work towards who you want to be as a person, please remind yourself of the bigger picture you want to see. please remind yourself, that anything else is just a passing phase, at the end of the day you yourself know what you want. and to get something out from an experience is more important than anything that seem superfluous and fancy.

i’ve learnt now not only to look at what is perceived to be the most important to myself , but also in the process of maintaining my self, i must put in more effort to make myself known to the world.  more confident. not to make my mark, but make my absence felt and presence known too.

after all we cannot deny the world that we live in often pays more attention to the presence known more than the absence felt; so that kind of sets the prior basis if you want your absence to be felt in the end. i think i’m finding myself again =)

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