Get this out.

In the middle of exams for this week and next week.. but somehow now I have access to the laptop I really feel like sharing this and letting it out of my system.

If life shows us that it doesn’t pay to be kind, how can it expect people to be kind for a better world? While kindness should be inherent, as humans it’s only natural expecting to be reciprocated if we do what is expected of us.

yes the italized statement above is my less than positive thought. maybe deep down I just think that I deserve it although I may not have done as well as what should qualify, I really don’t know. and yeap I meant sep, maybe no news is good news, means there’s hope? but i will not think about it and concentrate on exams now.

PS: have a great week and smile more =) i’ll try!


late night revelation

have you ever watched something in a language that you do not understand, but at the end of it you are touched by it? and it even felt like you understood what was the director’s intention.

well i did today. after the film i felt more confused upon getting the message from the film. also confused as to why i’ve spent 1h45min watching it and not studying. despite the confusion, i somehow feel calm, and just looking at things from a lot of perspectives; albeit confusing myself.

how extraordinary that themes about humanity or themes pertaining to human nature can be conveyed even if it’s not explicit (in this case it cannot be made explicit because of the language barrier).. the movie by the way is The Peach Tree.

and results for student exchange program (SEP)  are out, more or less.. i am still waiting for mine. the longer the wait the more unsettling it becomes. somehow i got this thought: waiting is a grueling process, we’re forever waiting for something, waiting for someone, waiting for an outcome… waiting, it should not be so unpleasant yet somehow it can be.

perhaps i am made to wait now because in the past, i’ve imposed myself and caused others to wait and experience the gruel of waiting. i apologize for that. sincerely. i am sorry for that. now i just hope for a good news~

and so sis said i should be positive and not think about it.. resolution then becomes: i’ll smile more and think on the bright side.. after all smiling is contagious and it can spread to others who need it too =) and i didn’t say happy, because we should be happy for no reason and i don’t want to be happy because there is a reason to, i want to be happy even if there’s nothing for me to be so.

PS: i really am inspired to think because of the movie. and here is the ost..

fulfilled and comfortable

“I am a drinker with writing problems.” – Brendan Behan
interesting quote i came across~ 

This post is probably going to be real cheery and all.. because we have completed one of our major project assignment for this semester! i am so proud of my team, all girls by the way. and although there are sayings of how girls are perfectionist and very detailed, i must say for some things you really need us girls to be there and scrutinize..

for something like a film, the more attention you pay to the details the better the outcome of your work. and for once, i am comfortable to say that maybe being anal is acceptable.. but my personal belief of going with the flow still holds. anyways now that our documentary “The Broken Porcelain” is done and submitted, I cannot wait for its premier (plus our presentation) this coming Wednesday.. and hopefully something good will come out of it 😉

that said maybe because it’s a load off my mind and heart, i am actually not myself or maybe being too myself.. almost making no sense in things i say and being a clown in school.. but okay it’s probably once off~

i guess all i want to convey is: every part of me is smiling really happily today; all the frustration and negativity in the process are trivial. if we had chosen the easy way out of doing film review (which no one prefers), the end would not be as satisfying.

maybe cos’ you’re feeling really happy, and suddenly you become comfortable with everything around you.. to a certain extent, it feels great to share this joy.

but i sometimes wonder how much i can share so that people won’t feel “repulsive” to this overflow of joyfulness.. and with whom can i share without worrying if i’m imposing too much of myself.. maybe not at the moment.

of course reality hits that exams are about two weeks away, and i have one last assignment to complete. so i must finish it by this week! at least this is the target i set for myself, i need to focus on studying real soon; should not waste my effort of selecting modules that i’m interested in, only to do less than expected because i wasn’t conscientious enough to pull through. must do it.

thanks to my mood now, i am really comfortable with posing a self-shot with a grow-out hair of sorts (just thankful it doesn’t seem like a bad hair day).. and i guess i’ll caption it like this:

because i’m just working on one last assignment,
i think i’m entitled to act cute~ 

ps: i hope i will have this happy feeling on most days, and hope it applies to the people around me too =)

Self, found.

I don’t know if it’s true or not that we can always grow or mature, maybe become a better person through a really small incident/event etc. but i am willing to believe that it is so.

things that come as unexpected to you might shed new light on how you see things or even how you see yourself.

truth is, nobody likes to be forgotten and nobody likes to be insignificant (although most of the time no one is insignificant). of course when such things/encounters happen to you, the first instinct was still a blank i.e. you have not react to it. but very often revisiting an incident or conversation, you might think through things (think for the worst perhaps?)

i just want to say, it is absolutely fine to think negatively when you feel forgotten/insignificant.. but after that please put things in perspective for yourself. honestly, at the end of the day: ask yourself which is more important. 1) how do others see you or 2) how you are reflected as a person.

personally i prefer the second, not to sound noble or anything; but really working towards reflecting yourself as a better person is really sometime worth pursuing. and it might eventually lead to others seeing you in a better light?

yes, i may have appeared mediocre; but fact is that i have not been doing mediocre things and even if i have, fact is that if these mediocre things are not done, the big things might not be realised too. every small part has an effect, just like every small event allows you to learn and grow.

and so after some thinking, and deciding that i’ve been stupid to get caught in a web of “negative” thoughts (not so negative anymore) all i want to say is: When you focus on greater things, the petty aspects become unnecessary and insignificant.

if they do not work towards what you are seeking, if they do not work towards who you want to be as a person, please remind yourself of the bigger picture you want to see. please remind yourself, that anything else is just a passing phase, at the end of the day you yourself know what you want. and to get something out from an experience is more important than anything that seem superfluous and fancy.

i’ve learnt now not only to look at what is perceived to be the most important to myself , but also in the process of maintaining my self, i must put in more effort to make myself known to the world.  more confident. not to make my mark, but make my absence felt and presence known too.

after all we cannot deny the world that we live in often pays more attention to the presence known more than the absence felt; so that kind of sets the prior basis if you want your absence to be felt in the end. i think i’m finding myself again =)

[song] I Will

Taking a v short break from revision =\

and as we all know The Beatles is (still) a great band, i’ve never proclaimed my liking for them until i realised i have so many of their songs in my iPod..

this is one is definitely my favourite, such a sweet song really.. how warm and fuzzy (the feeling you get) if people would dedicate it to each other or even just listening it for pleasure?

PS: 用真与善,宽容与感恩待人待事吧!a friend reminded me of this, something that i always shared with her when we were in secondary school =) and it’s W12, will get through it!

Tasting Christmas~

Very tired, but somehow have this urge to just write something.. or maybe share something. finally completed 3241 project and i’m really thankful and happy to be working with a group of great and dedicated friends =)

anyways the highlight of this post is to share my taste of Christmas… how so? since it’s a known fact that starbucks christmas drinks are out, it means they have those special flavour syrup! and Faizal introduced a new “concoction” that is probably only available during christmas season but it has to be a customized drink.. (photo~)


so here goes…

1. Order Green Tea Creme (non-caffeine base)

2. Request to change the classic syrup to peppermint syrup

3. Request to add a pump of mocha

4. Request to add javachips.

*oh faizal even suggested that we add whip cream with cranberry drizzle, so it gives you christmas colours i.e. green, white and red!

and… blend~ viola, the taste of christmas is yours in no time at all!

Disclaimer: all these come with additional charges, i shared a drink with SY and it cost $7.90 :O

yes very expensive, but it’s great trying it with a friend and honestly i wouldn’t buy it on my own.. but i guess some things you only do once in a while 😉