Things are starting to pick up for the new semester, and I am happy to say that there are no longer time table clashes for me.. translating to not under-load modules this semester and giving my very best. I hope by doing so I will also get my desired results, I mean sometimes people say if you give your best then you have no regrets. Not that I disagree but I think when they talk about not having regrets is when people actually achieve what they have set for themselves, and also giving their best at the same time.
Personally I feel that if I have given my best and I don’t get what I set for myself, I will regret.. or rather self-doubt will develop. So I am hoping for the best and shall maintain this disposition towards school work.
Next up, I have always said how much I have learnt by joining a CCA… and in actual fact I really got a lot from it. Both the good and bad, I won’t deny the times when I just feel like giving up and cursing and ranting to my family. Yet by coming this far I got my fair share of experience.
This time round it’s the same, to join or not to join? I want to live my life well, and live it right, that said meaning I don’t want to have a mundane school life just filled with studying, I want to have activities in school. Yet I don’t want that activity to take up so much of my time that I short change any aspect of my school work and piano (which is an important outlet for me).
What I have considered is really quite all rounding, but one other thing is important to me too: supporting my friends. Therefore the decision doesn’t come easy, but still I have made a choice. I do not know where that courage come from, or whether it is false courage that will fade (I pray that it is not). Yet when I read about inspirational stories and of people who have a lot on their plate, but they could manage. They inspire me.
The greedy thought of: what if I could manage too? I would emerge a winner, I would emerge as a new person who is better with time management and better with studying smart.
I quote what someone said ” be consistently and diligently trying with [your] own ability and making things happen”. What if I can be the one making things happen? I want to live my life right and well, for now I just want optimism to be with me, lots of confidence from anywhere and myself and just telling myself: you will emerge successful.
For now, this is the best I can hope for and of course the need to tell myself, balance.