My sense of freedom.

I’ve been doing some thinking lately, maybe a lot and I realised that I probably am thinking too much at times, but I guess it’s better than not exercising the brain?

In any case, i’ve been reading about inspiring stories of people from different parts of the world i.e them doing what they love, and having little consideration for their direct future.. Basically experiencing life with a “live the moment” attitude..

After which, I compared those stories and lives to mine.. at 20 I have a concept of what I am doing, albeit vague. Yet upon reflecting on them, they are inevitably surrounded by concepts of results, prospects, achievement and whether they are realistic..

Of course I understand the value of these things we do, give your best achieve good results and they translate to good prospect and future. But, what if there is more to what we pursue? Things that we might have overlooked. What if we are actually granted that freedom to do what we like; something that might not be monetary rewarding, something that has not direct benefit to us, but allow us to grow, even though it is subtle.

Then I realised, it’s what influence us that shapes our actions and thoughts.. An almost no brainer answer to my seemingly infinite questions. So can we then go beyond that? Accept other forms of influence and pursue things in a different direction, so we truly enjoy what we do and not for the sake of results.

“Only one person is given the number one position, so I don’t know why we only want that?” yes maybe it is priced so it is sought after, but being number one in your own right can be satisfying too, why the need to be obstinate and only settle for the recognised number one; then stress yourself out.

The second one would be our priorities in life that shapes us. To live comfortably without woes, that’s why we need a good job, good pay then live a normal and maybe comfortable life (w/o financial woes).. surely our priorities can be more than that.. I always imagine myself having all these financial goals met, then one day I will ask myself: so what now? I have all these, what do I want in my life?

Isn’t this something to be fearful of and why some people willingly forgo their high paying jobs and settle for something less, more spiritually rewarding.. We may say they can afford to do it, but I think they do it because they allow their expectations for monetary and material goods to be lowered.

I don’t know the point of writing this, but I do know that it helps me to organise my thoughts. I read to know about things beyond what I’ve experienced, to find out what are my interests.

and right now I think… I’m going to constantly seek positive influence, maybe, be that influence myself. It can be small influence, but I can do it while still doing things that I enjoy, just constantly seek this influence in every context. That itself could surprise me and eventually the things that mattered to me are fulfilled, and if they’re not at least I know I am living my life of freedom. Something that is not an obstacle or burden to me.

There isn’t a perfect answer, but if we can do something that we truly enjoy without negative stress or burden to ourselves, be allowed to experience freedom in the pursue of it, that I personally feel is close to a perfect life; and maybe in doing so it itself can be considered an achievement.

PS: without the need to garner recognition from others or be judged. No one is more superior to be allowed to make others feel inferior right?

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