The holidays have started about two weeks ago, and it still feels surreal. i do not like the state of being idle, i need to be constantly moving and doing something . thankfully i do have tasks to occupy me, and it’s often at odd timing that thoughts surface.
there so many things that we come across everyday, yet sometimes we still feel mediocre despite being masters of our own life (i mean you are living you own life right?). do you feel that way? i do.
of course they always say nobody is perfect, but why is it that some people often seem more perfect than others? is it not true that everyone wishes to be outstanding; yet not everyone can achieve that.
do you question? i find myself questioning more and more recently, questioning the world and questioning myself. what i’ve seen and experienced, and with introspection i was not touched by these experiences. fortunately, when one door closes the other opens up. the same goes for these haphazard emotions.
i often find myself feeling more at ease and feeling peaceful after reading, and it was when i look back, i realized i was more emotional while experiencing stories. not my own story, but stories told by others.
does that spell out something? that i am not participating fully in my own life and experiences, or maybe when we look too far out we forget that what matters most is when we are touched by ourselves.
only when being at ease with yourself, can you then bring the same vibe to others.
and perhaps that is why i allow stories to overwhelm me so easily. they open up new worlds and emotions to me. i am actually glad that now when i read a book that touches me, i willingly and easily tear in public. it’s too tiring to contain what you truly felt, and i hope for everyone that we never have to hide ourselves simply because we are afraid of being judged.
ps: and sometimes i have so much to express that i don’t know where to begin, and many times it calls for pumping courage into myself.